Fallen

In flood, the angels weep – from dour skies, in ash and taupe, washed with claret and given to tides in crimson. In prayer, I grieve for the misadventure of mans sanguine endeavour, as would be this crusade.

Victory – an affliction against God, without conciliation for light and sunk to caliginous woe. These fallen, in unanimity, lost to life and gone – what price such victory as calls to thee?

In cataclysm of firmament, the stars dwindle while the sun may ever be gone. In spin, the wretched fray – under barrage and fuel to the loss of dreams.

Such stench as viscid air, in truce, the halted rant of thunder, before tempest – as lost to melee and squall. I tread this field, as once of flowers, now of blood – and find testament to the futility of man.

How triumphant the fume of battle, what glory this to be? Would accord not be lost to the altercation of opinion, peace may reign – and yet those now fallen, know peace.

What of love – and those who have lost, what now the lover and all? I speak of the mother, the father, the sister and brother – what now for those that would mourn these casualties of war?

Under siege and as would be sin to the moment, I covet that touch as would mend my broken soul. In petition of your image, the subjugation of my heart, as would this sword bring conquest of worlds.

Once as man, soaked by tragedy and tempered by hardship, and as now the child, I cry in tears.

For a moment now, I too am fallen, lost to tender gaze and the intimacy of form. In retreat and without defence, I hide within you and seek the clemency of love.

These crimes of dominion, in contest of my humanity, bring dissension to my being. Would that you could forgive, may bring flight to your grace, and so the nobility of silence shall be.

Victory – an affliction against God, without conciliation for light and sunk to caliginous woe. These fallen, in unanimity, lost to life and gone – what price such victory as would end all love!

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18 Responses to Fallen

  1. blossombee68 says:

    What a dark essay Andrew 😦 But it fits perfectly to the month of November. To be honest I prefer your brighter blogs about love 😉 There’s one sentence I adore though: I hide within you and seek the clemency of love – beautiful! 🙂

    • avbarber says:

      My hope was to capture the fragility of the human spirit in extremes of crisis. I believe that even the most rugged personality may be reduced to the insecurity of a child and regress to the need of their loved one – I hope that this piece goes some way toward that. There is romance in our Knights determination of silence (or at least his reasons for that silence) and the work illustrates how we grasp for those close when all else is wrong!

  2. Victory but comes in many forms my dear Knight. That thee can still feel love after the blood spent across the earth does comfort me for all is not foresaken. I shall hold all that is dear and minister to your wounds.Let your yearning for love bring you solice in dark times and help you find that path unto me.
    This gives her hope dear Pan. The ability to feel during adversity is magical indeed.
    Wendy xx

    • avbarber says:

      Thank you for your wonderful comment – I believe Lion Hearts will have many such moments of doubt, gilt by aching hearts – With each and every essay I grow more excited for the coming venture!

  3. Caroline says:

    ‘Ash victory–a triumphant squall, soaked and fallen from God’s grace in the Lover’s firmament.’ How futile man’s attempt to make his puny mark–and what wretched torment he both causes and carries. Thank you for another beautifully crafted essay, Andrew; it is a rare pleasure to savour each and every word. Your Lion Hearts project will no doubt be profoundly fabulous!:)

    • avbarber says:

      Once again your eloquence and kindness have combined to produce a wonderfully intelligent comment that accurately reflects the work and leaves me feeling encouraged for future pieces. I am looking forward to Lion Hearts which seems to have taken on a life of its own! Thank you so very much for your continued support, it is very much appreciated!

  4. Caroline says:

    You are very welcome, Andrew. When something is right, all the doors fly open with astounding speed. Creative passion is a most profound spirituality that feeds The Angels with the finest nectar—and they sup from it greedily; bestowing golden opportunities and halo smiles that turn the heart to somersaulting crystals. Just don’t let anyone steal it away—for that is a most profound grief.
    Blessings on your quest. To sup from the Holy Grail is the greatest gift 🙂
    Caroline

  5. I want you to know, as I have already said to you on twitter that this might be my favourite essay. It is dark and real, The words make you experience the poem and because of what its about that can be unpleasant for some, but that is what art is suppose to do.
    You know I love words and I love the sound of them and the way they create visual images in my weird brain and there are quite a few times you have done this in Fallen. Viscid air is my favourite, the way you used so many religious terms throughout the essay and how even when war is over it is only the dead who truly find peace.
    The first image I get is a field of dead soldiers,the heavens are red and the sun is leaving the sky. The war is in the name of God, but how could so much destruction and death truly be what God would want? The sun sinks and is gone. The air is thick with the metallic taste and smell of blood.The field is a visual testament to the real cost of war. That even a victory or peace cannot erase.
    Life goes on and loved ones will have to grieve and nothing will ever be the same. A lone knight walks through the field he knows he is about to join them. He has been brave and he has been a killer, but now in the end all he wants is to shuck those things. In the end all he needs is the love of someone far away. Someone he holds very dear. Like a child he needs that comfort.
    He is glad they don’t know what he has done in the name of this war and country. He wraps himself in her image and takes comfort in his memories and he slips away.
    It might not be romantic all the way through. It was powerful and real and I loved it.

    • avbarber says:

      As always Electa, you have wrapped yourself in the essence of the words and dug deeply into the metaphor to, slice by slice, entice a truth so very close to the image about which the verse is painted. Perhaps the only slight deviation is at the end, as I have the knight surviving battle, which in some ways he finds more repugnant than being struck to the ground. Other than that – I would say the image you have painted matches mine exactly 🙂 As always I thank you for your wonderful kindness and for the time you have taken in the analysis – I always enjoy your comments 🙂

  6. nikki says:

    We all have good and bad emotions in our life, each come hand in hand, such a powerful verse and realisation of how actions affect others and how we seek solace for such actions.
    A wonderful version of how another soul could feel and react , being able to visualise and write this down comes from great writers x

    • avbarber says:

      Thank you Nikki – the pain and hardship of life and the emotion this may bring can be an important influence on the development of personality. In trauma of this magnitude I can thankfully only imagine the horrific impact brought to bear. Thank you as always for your kind words 🙂

  7. Angel ³ says:

    “crimes of dominion, in contest of my humanity, bring dissension”
    Poignant

  8. Such stench as viscid air, in truce, the halted rant of thunder, before tempest – as lost to melee and squall. I tread this field, as once of flowers, now of blood – and find testament to the futility of man. – such vivid imagery as always, Andrew. It evokes feelings about the sheer horror of war.

    • avbarber says:

      Thank you, this essay was certainly a lot darker than those I am usually known for, but I wanted to say something about the horror of war. I have tried to do this through a portrayal of a post battle scene and the emotions of a single knight/soldier. Thank you for your kind comments – as always they are very much appreciated 🙂

  9. Canonical, graven and naturally fallen…

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